ACTION ITEM! Redecorate the Retiring Rooms

Deaconette has in the past introduced you gentle readers to some of her sorority sisters. But you have been hanging around the sorority house for some time now, and it’s probably time that you meet the whole family. Yes? Well come in, wait, wipe your feet on the mat please. Now then, may I present Deaconette’s

• identical-but-ontologically-inferior twin blue sister Smurfette (Ma always liked me best);
• arty sister Palette;
• sister with the drinking problem Bachelorette;
• Texan food-service worker sister Charcoal Briquette;
• sisters Diskette and Cassette, together affectionately “the Obsolettes”;
• prissy sister Lorgnette;
• nutty sister Noisette;
• showoff sister Majorette;
• pregnant sister Layette;
• overweight sister Raclette;
• bitchy sister Martinet;
• sexy sister Coquette and slutty sister Nymphette (who are not to be confused with the sister who merely enjoys having her salad tossed occasionally, Vinaigrette);
• elusive sister Silhouette and black-sheep sister Oubliette;
• and Holy Mother (née holy sister) Popette, with whom you’re well acquainted already;