Prayer for the Conversion or Retirement* of the Four Cardinals

May I ask you all to pray to Pope St. Formosus, patron of synod-attending prelates whose clothes are their undeniable best feature? Pray that the four Cardinals discover either Christianity or the delights of model railroading in the basement during a well-deserved early retirement.

Pope St Formosus, pray for us.

jean_paul_laurens_le_pape_formose_et_etienne_vii_1870Dear St Formosus, Terror of the Olfactory and Supreme Pontiff of Holy Church, Patron of Weary Gravediggers and Well-Dressed Bishops, hear our urgent prayer and swiftly intercede with our Savior, obtaining for the four Lord Cardinals Brandmüller, Burke, Caffarra and Meisner abundant graces so elusive to them of the four Cardinal Virtues of Prudence, Justice, Fortitude and especially Moderation in which if you’ve seen their fashion shows you already know they are seriously deficient, so that those vexatious gadflies may either embrace Christian mercy and the authority of your successor as Sovereign Pontiff, Pope Francis, or decide to hang up their several silly hats each and take early retirement to lakeside cottages distant from Rome that they may weed in the flower garden until our Savior shall call them home to Him, and could you meanwhile please protect them from therein accidentally digging their own graves?

Also if you have the extra opportunity, Mundabor needs a brain, Father Zuhlsdorf needs a heart, Deaconette C wouldn’t mind more courage, and Dorothy would like to go home to Kansas.


*Don’t pray for anyone’s downfall.