Women in the Diaconate and Men with Six Sigma Feedback Cards

2f613-untitled-1In the sad, little dark corner of the breakout room, near the handout and collaterals table and up against the folding partition wall Where a Drifter Traddy Priest Recalcitrantly Sequesters while the rest of us get on with the real work of Christianity, there’s yet more whining and bitterness going on about Pope Francis’ initiatives. It seems the Holy Father commissioned a study on the history of the female diaconate just so the investigators could chat about the great pastry tray (they’re not as good at the Marriott as they used to be back in the good old days) and sharpie their names on stick-on badges before the ice-breaking session. Which, it is imagined, is followed by lunch and a team building exercise, cookie break, meditation in the Papal gardens and daily Mass before the various cliques decide where to get dinner together because that’s not included in the registration fee. There won’t be enough time to discuss deaconesses (or “deacons,” which is so much easier to say) because of the vicious circle of time-wasting a symposium involves. The doomed study of the female diaconate is going nowhere.

Deaconette has seen this silly line of reasoning before.

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Specky Uncinula

From a non-reader…

Quaeritur: I’ll be deployed overseas this Thanksgiving Friday. I belong to a personal parish (FSSP) in a regular geographic diocese back home, but deployed I fall under the Archdiocese of Military ervices [sic]. Does the Pope Pius XII Thanksgiving Friday indult apply to me, despite my not being in the United States?

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I scream, you scream, we all scream. Where’s the ice cream?

This morning, as Deaconette ate her breakfast of Anacin and leftover Chardonnay, she found a note from one of our number who asked her what can be done about “cheering up my crappy post-election days? Very crappy. Some of the most crappy evah, as a matta fact.”

Deaconette has likewise been in one of her more splenetic moods since election night. You see, she celebrated by having several of her sisters in this earthly struggle into the chapterhouse to watch a woman become President-elect for the first time, just a mere 96 years after women gained the right to vote. Confident in this endeavor due to the repeated and insistent assurances of several well-known pollsters, she lavished her guests with pizzas of many toppings and wine that even came from a bottle instead of a box.

You know how that went. Her confrères, or rather consœurs, mostly left in a depression and torrent of profanity. The remainder fell suddenly to sleep on Deaconette’s sofas after having plundered all of her best scotch with the vim of high seas pirates facing the gallows at sunrise.

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Stacy McGruder

Deaconette understands that many of  her gentle readers are faced with a dilemma in tomorrow’s U.S. Presidential Election. The major party candidates are wildly unpopular, and neither is in ideal comity with important Catholic teachings and doctrines. And we’re not getting much direction from Pope Francis, who when posed this exact comparison only validated the difficulty and seemed to be suggesting that informed Catholics may as well just flip a coin.

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Society of St Pius X Dedicate Future Hotel

DILLWYN, Va., These United States, November 4 – The Society of St Pius X (SSPX), a breakaway conservative sect of the Catholic Church, this week dedicated a building complex which will become the first phase of the Hilton Dillwyn Lodge Resort and Conference Center. The development site, atop a scenic hillside eleven miles northwest of the hectic downtown bustle of Dillwyn, is projected to give a much-needed major economic boost to agrarian Buckingham County when it becomes unaffordable for SSPX as its member training center in a matter of a few years.

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