Sickly Oompah-Loompah

From a middle-school reader…

Quaeritur: My son and fiancee are Catholics, [according to me but very likely not according to them nor their friends], and [are] considering having a non-priest [a deacon, perhaps? No?] perform the ceremony in the Outer Banks, NC. We have two family members saying that as Catholics, they can’t attend the wedding because it is outside of the church. Is there some rule that is keeping them from attending the wedding?

Respondio: There is indeed a very elegant rule for avoiding sin when one finds oneself without previously accepted social commitments of that order of magnitude. Follow the five simple steps Deaconette now outlines:

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Semi-Uncollater

Quaeritur: I recently read about the indulgences formerly attached to being touched by the ‘penitential wand’ in Rome in the Raccolta. I’ve been trying to find more information about this practice online, all to no avail. I wonder if you could write about it? Seems like something as ‘rigid’ as this could do us well these days!

Respondio: The penitential mentula or ferula, the bocchino penitenziario, wand, or rod is encountered the world over, and not merely in Rome. It varies in length and girth, and while it is not always used in a penitential capacity, it is nevertheless not uncommonly employed in such a ritual. Since not every man can be a wizard every time.

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Stacy McGruder

Deaconette understands that many of  her gentle readers are faced with a dilemma in tomorrow’s U.S. Presidential Election. The major party candidates are wildly unpopular, and neither is in ideal comity with important Catholic teachings and doctrines. And we’re not getting much direction from Pope Francis, who when posed this exact comparison only validated the difficulty and seemed to be suggesting that informed Catholics may as well just flip a coin.

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Saucy Homunculus

Quaeritur, My wife and I are in the final stages of purchasing our first house. When we went to see the house the first time we noticed that the current residents were Indian and of the Hindu religion. We know this because not only of the smell of curry throughout the house but also because of the small shrines and altars throughout the house. While I can appreciate ones conviction towards one’s faith, my wife said we should make sure the house is blessed before we move in. My question is, should we just simply bless the house or should more drastic means of blessing and/or exorcism take place since the house was inhabited by those of another faith? If so, what would be the proper thing to do? Thank you for taking the time to answer this question.

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Sis Seated on Cooler

One Possible Solution

Quaeritur, This past weekend my family and I attended Mass at a neighboring parish, which had for many years been considered very liberal. We were informed that a new pastor had been appointed in the course of the last year who was very orthodox. For his part, the pastor was in fact very reverent and celebrated the Mass accurately. However, the music was horrific, complete with Hippie [sic]  hymns and rythmic [sic] clapping. At the homily the Deacon called the children forward to sit in the sanctuary while he sat facing them and led a “discussion” complete with platitudes about diversity, niceness and quotes from St Martin Luther King.

My question is: Why are good priests so afraid of “stirring the pot” or “sweeping changes” with regard to the proper and reverent celebration of Holy Mass, especially with a supportive bishop and many (perhaps quieter) faithful who just can’t stand the stupidity?

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