All Around the Deacon’s Bench

Apparently, the Priggish Porker of the Pantywaisted Patriarchy dipped into the Journal of Feminist Geography and found its contents confusing. One should never expect to understand a graduate level research paper before one has taken the basic survey course. Please, 4P, have a seat and we’ll begin.

Welcome to Feminist Geography 101. I’m Irrev. Prof. Deaconette C. I realize many of you were expecting Professor Socrates, but I’m afraid he lost his bid for tenure. Although he was eminently well-qualified for Pontifical University faculty on the basis of his superannuation of retirement age, his criminal record and his stated preference for young boys, the department ultimately decided that someone who has no Ph.D., no publications, and who actually admits he doesn’t know anything is better qualified for the diocesan curia. He’s now the co-adjutor bishop. So I’m here instead. Continue reading

Women in the Diaconate and Men with Six Sigma Feedback Cards

2f613-untitled-1In the sad, little dark corner of the breakout room, near the handout and collaterals table and up against the folding partition wall Where a Drifter Traddy Priest Recalcitrantly Sequesters while the rest of us get on with the real work of Christianity, there’s yet more whining and bitterness going on about Pope Francis’ initiatives. It seems the Holy Father commissioned a study on the history of the female diaconate just so the investigators could chat about the great pastry tray (they’re not as good at the Marriott as they used to be back in the good old days) and sharpie their names on stick-on badges before the ice-breaking session. Which, it is imagined, is followed by lunch and a team building exercise, cookie break, meditation in the Papal gardens and daily Mass before the various cliques decide where to get dinner together because that’s not included in the registration fee. There won’t be enough time to discuss deaconesses (or “deacons,” which is so much easier to say) because of the vicious circle of time-wasting a symposium involves. The doomed study of the female diaconate is going nowhere.

Deaconette has seen this silly line of reasoning before.

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Society of St Pius X Dedicate Future Hotel

DILLWYN, Va., These United States, November 4 – The Society of St Pius X (SSPX), a breakaway conservative sect of the Catholic Church, this week dedicated a building complex which will become the first phase of the Hilton Dillwyn Lodge Resort and Conference Center. The development site, atop a scenic hillside eleven miles northwest of the hectic downtown bustle of Dillwyn, is projected to give a much-needed major economic boost to agrarian Buckingham County when it becomes unaffordable for SSPX as its member training center in a matter of a few years.

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4P on DePaul University: Getting things exactly wrong, of course.

In an alternate universe, Popette Servetus has proclaimed this the Year of the Dragon and is crunching General Tso’s Chicken right now in the Apostolic Palace. And probably puffing on a fatty, too. But back here in our own universe, Pope Francis has proclaimed this a jubilee Year of Mercy. It seems to Deaconette that it thus is good to ask, what is mercy?

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